It's not my material and I don't know who wrote it, but I thought I would share it with you anyway. It's just classic. If it's yours let me know and I'll let everyone know.
-We bought a new home in Canada. I am very excited. It's so beautiful here. Mountains are of indescribable splendour. I can not wait to see them covered with snow.
-Canada. It's the most beautiful country on Earth. The leaves have received all those beautiful shades of yellow and orange. I drove through nature and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Deer are the most beautiful animals. I think we have arrived in paradise. I love Canada.
Today is a public holiday, deer hunting season starts soon. I can not believe that someone can kill an animal so beautiful. I hope it will snow soon. It's so beautiful here.
-Last night it snowed for the first time. I got up and saw that everywhere it was just white, just like in the most beautiful scenes. I went outside, I cleaned the front of the house and then we had a snowball fight (I won). The snowplough came past to clear the snow in the road out front and so I had to clear up the snow again. Great country. I love Canada.
- Last night it snowed again. The snowplough came past again and cleaned up the snow it left in my yard again. It blocked the entrance to the driveway. It is splendid here.
- Last night it snowed again. I could not go to work because I couldn't get the car out. It is very nice here, I am just tired of shoveling snow. Again the damn snowplough.
This white snow has not stopped all night. I have corns on my hands from shovelling and my back hurts. This snowplough monkey lies just around the corner and waits for me to finish clearing my driveway only to bring back more snow. Damn.
Merry Christmas. It snowed again.. this stupid snow. If I catch that snowplow driver I will kill him. Why don’t they throw more salt on the road.
- Last night it snowed again. I did not go out of the house for three days just kept shoveling every time the snowplow passed by. I can not go anywhere, the car is stuck under a hill of snow and it is very cold. They said tonight will fall another 30 cm of snow… this stupid snow.
-The weather report was wrong. We got 50 cm of snow, not 30 cm. If it continues like this it will not melt until summer. The snowplough driver got stuck and he came to ask me for a shovel. I told him I already broke six cleaning up that sh… that he threw in my front yard. I was about to hit him with the shovel.
-I finally left the house. I went to buy food and on my way back I hit a deer. The car was damaged to the amount of $3,000. Those beasts should be killed. They are everywhere. Why didn’t the hunters kill them all last fall?
-I took the car to a mechanic. Its unbelievable how much rust the car has from the damn salt... lots of salt all winter long and still for nothing.
-I am moving to Florida. I can not imagine how any normal human being can live in Canada!