Saturday, 17 June 2017

Learning about myself

I have a lifetime of learning about myself. Growing up in the church it was always about self analysis and figuring out where you were tricking yourself into thinking you were right with God. There was always some way you could improve.

Having moved to Canada I find there is a lot of motivational stuff to get caught up in here. Seeing it from a distance I used to find it very annoying because it felt like cheese (nonsense people tell themselves to make themselves feel better), but I find now I'm getting caught up in it. I can't figure out if it's because of the life stage I'm in that cheese gets my emotions going. Anything to do with my little daughter tugs at my tear ducts, an opportunity to earn money makes me want to jump right in and do a little cheese makes me feel so much better. Perhaps it's not my luge stage, but the fact I'm now surrounded by motivational adverts, people, podcasts, the the Americas really are the nations of "I can" and that culture of self motivation is all encompassing. I'm investing in the stock exchange believing I can make millions, cycling to work believing I'm an athlete.

I'm trying very hard to prevent myself from making bad decisions as a result of these delusions.  It is fun to push yourself and discover you can achieve more, I'm finding its equally important to pace yourself and change slowly so you don't scare your family that you've gone crazy.

Hopefully I've managed to do that and I'm not going off the rails yet.